It
is most tempting, when you find out someone is depressed, to attempt to
immediately fix the problem. However, until the depressed person has given you
permission to be their therapist (as a friend or professional), the following
responses are more likely to help. Acknowledge my depression for what it is (No
'it's just a phase') and give permission for them to feel depressed (No 'but
why should you be sad?')
Here
is the list from contributors to a.s.d. and Pendulum:
"I love you!"
(if you mean it)
“I Care"
"You're not alone
in this"
“I'm not going to
leave/abandon you"
"Do you want a
hug?"
"You are important
to me."
"If you need a
friend..." (and mean it)
"You look great !”
(say it and mean it)
"It will pass, we
can ride it out together."
"When all this is
over, I'll still be here (if you mean it) and so will you."
"Don't say
anything, just hold my hand and listen while I cry."
"All I want to do
know is give you a hug and a shoulder to cry on."
"Hey, you're not
crazy!"
"May the strength
of the past reflect in your future."
"God does not play
dice with the universe." - A. Einstein
"A miracle is
simply a do-it-yourself project."- S. Leek
"We are not
primarily on earth to see through one another, but to see one another
through"-(from someone's SIG)
"If the human brain
were simple enough to understand, we'd be too simple to understand it."-a
codeveloper of Prozac, quoted from "Listening to Prozac"
"You have so many
extraordinary gifts-how can you expect to live an ordinary life?" - from
the movie "Little Women" (Marmee
to Jo)
"I understand your pain and I empathize"
"I'm sorry you're
in so much pain. I am not going to leave you. I am going to take care of myself
so you don't need to worry that your pain might hurt me."
"I listen to you
talk about it, and I can't imagine what it's like for you. I just can't imagine
how hard it must be."
"I can't really
fully understand what you are feeling, but I can offer my compassion."
"Depression is like
a very dark storm... you are in the middle of the storm now and can't see your
way out... but it will get better. One day you will be able to turn around and
see that the storm has passed..."
"I'm sorry you're
having to go through this, I care about you and care that you are hurting.
"Don't torture
yourself with your feelings, I'm here to listen."
"I'll be your
friend no matter what so it's okay to talk about your feelings-it'll make you
feel better."
"I'll be with you
at all times."
"With friends, joy
is multiplied and sorrow divided."
"I cannot
understand the pain you're in, I cannot feel it. But hold onto my hand while
you walk through this storm, and I'll do my very very best to keep you from
slipping away."
"I love you
unconditionally and will always be here for you."
"Keep kicking
against the darkness until it bleeds daylight." -Preacher
"I'm never going to say 'I know how you feel' unless I truly do, but if I can do anything to help, I will."